for the love of life

let me live for the day
I shout,
'wait', they say,
and I stand in the queue,
there are thousands before me
and thousands after,
all waiting for just a little life,
amazed and aghast
I stand,
waiting to live for the day,
with patience and penance,
then starts a rush,
turning to a fight,
as they announce,
there are few seats for life,
I join in the fight,
for I am no different from others,
some fall like fallen angels,
to suffer more,
there are cries,
cries all around,
I too fall yet to rise again,
I cheat,
for all is fair in love and war,
you can call this to be love,
love for life,
you can call this war,
war for the love for life,
now all is up to you.

does time heal

the coffee mug just broke,
Is mimo the one to blame,
no, I dont think so
who's mimo,
well he is just a cat,
well, it must be my callous mind then,
always indulged in something
or the other,
that's what my mama would have said,
but the coffee mug is broken,
does it matters how,
I will join the the pieces,
with fixit ofcourse,
and I know it will be fixed,
what!
a scar,
of course it will remain,
no, there's no remedy to that,
time!
does time heal all?

Unnamed

finally
we part,
and the moments get lost in translation,
water droplets accumulate
on the window pain,
and vapourise
as the sunbeams fall on them,
I feel a burn on my skin,
from nowhere blisters appear,
and as they burst i feel a strange pain,
I see your face
as it appear from nowhere
only to fade again,
I smile,
I cry,
I hope,
I pray,
I yearn,
to be with you again,
or
the verse will remain unnamed,
until you give it a name,
someday the nightingale will sing again..............................

I,the man

I see nothing,
I hear nothing,
I feel nothing,
my senses stopped working,
all i know I am alive,
a mere wriggled, clumped body,
with a burning desire to live,
and I somtimes try to
search the human in me,
Alas!it only remains a search,
Gluttony,
Sacrilage,
Hatred,
Jealousy,
Blasphamy,
I indulge in all,
I am the modern day man,
present everywhere
and in all............................................

hibernation

lethargic obsessions,
gripped imagination,
damped minds,
slow progressions,
leading to a short term memory loss,
curtailing connectionsto a free world,
created by a free mind.....
a deep hibernation.............

some ponderings

1.Its is raining outside,
all I feel is draught here,
random feelings accumulate,
and disappear like vapour,
nothing touches my soul,
no wetness
all is but dry and coarse............................

2. As I move towards the mirror,
I see the reflection of somebody
that resembles me,
or is it me or somebody else's
I just stare along.........................

3.Some friends called,
a wedding is there on sunday eve,
and I feel a twitch,
my hand moves up to my face,
to feel the fines lines,
a pain creeps in,
though eyes are blank..................

4.the day ends,
and night crawls in,
the night is not dark,
but I feel a darkness
in my heart and my mind,
lying in the bed,
wait for day to come.................

an earnest desire/a wait

Alone I sit on a mass of green,
waiting for you my beloved friend,
the wind carries the newly fallen leaves,
the swallows speak of when your coming will be,
the grasshopper still hops around,
the air still a sweet smell,
lonely I sit on a mass of green
to feel your presence.


My hair has greys now,
fine lines appear on my face,
my voice has grown hoarse,
old age shows its trace.

Spring has lost its charm for me,
I crave for summer no more,
monsoon came and left,
autumn has played his goal
just waiting for you my friend,
to wrap my soul.........

lament of a mosquito

Bruised
battered
I lie
as blood ooze out of my body
no, not mine,
yes, of the one I sucked,
as I lie on the palm of my murderer,
my legs hurt,
two of them have fallen apart,
heart beats slowing down,
time has come to depart,
and I leave this world being hated
right from my birth,
for I am a parasite,
I lived on other's blood,
spreading diseases,
creating havoc,
but I never wanted to be like this,
all I felt was to run,
across fields,
over rivers,
feeling the breeze,
humming a tune......
alas! its only a dream..

so i question God today
'why have you created me in this way?'
why am I hated by all?'
why do I die such a death today?'.........................

ode to the modern day women

early morning,
recession in mind,
lethargic body,
bulging tummy,
morning walks,
low fat breakfast,
husband's lunch and
son's tiffin,
all packed on time,
getting ready for office,
fumbling keys,
running after the bus,
just on time at office,
lots of work,
shouting boss,
a hard day,
skipping lunch,
evening time,
back home,
son's homework,
kitchen work,
hungry husband,
yawning face,
at last dinner,
no time for love,
morosed husband,
a scene of depression,
at last sleep,


morning arrives too soon,
a new day,
an old life,
and that's called life.

illusion

you ask me questions,
I give you answers,
you ask me more questions,
I give you more answers,
just dont ask me,
what's true or what's false
all I know
to make a round,
I go round and round,
only to fall around,
for I am inbetween illusion,
and illusionary realism................................

life

Under the spell of a drink,
he did plant a kiss,
and sucked the honey,
from the venomous rose,
his lips did swell
out of pain,
as blood oozed out slowly
from the veins,
as he glanced at those colourful eyes,
the glance did change to a fright,
for he saw the devil in her eyes,
with a smile she did turn,
mesmerising all at a chance,
she mixed charm with grace,
so none survived from the gaze,
he knew he belonged to the same race,
he merely laughed at his own folly,
as he awaited his death...
and she slowly walked away to another mate...

I am powerless

he asked for a rose,
all I gave him were thorns(in abundance)
he asked for freedom
and I put him into the bars of life,
he asked for dreams
I showed him paths of reality,
he asked for a mouthful of blue sky,
all I had was dark grey clouds to give,
he called for the music of springs,
I had those of cold winters,
he asked for a moment glory,
I gave him impending doom,
at last he asked for a plateful of food
to keep him alive,
to face all that I had given him,
but
I had given a burning hunger forever,

he didn't ask for anything else anymore,
he just said' don't call yourself God from now on'........

today I am very happy,
I am going to be married in the evening,
the whole house is full of relatives and friends,
there! I hear rolls of laughter,
must be somebody cracked a joke somewhere,
the haldi would start soon,
I have mehendi on my hands,
the colour has become quite dark,
all say my husband is going to love me lots,
my eyes are full of dreams,
some known ,some unknown,
we talked till late last night,
the dawn passed in a dreamy way,
ah! my mother is here,
with a plate full of sweets,
she has been quite busy today,
after all it's a her only daughter's marraige day,
she placed a kiss on my forehead,
a tear sparkled at the corner of her left eye,
I see it too, but am too busy to chat with my friends,
dad is in a hurry,
looking after all the last moment things,
he is the 'father' of the bride,
my heart just sank, to see dad's face,
my dad! my good old dad,
I am taking away his most precious possession,
you know what?
thats me,
with dreams in my eyes and hopes in my heart,
I will go, shedding the last tears for the day,
remembering my old days,
my rides on my dad's back,
mom running after me with a plate of food,
while I was getting late for school.....
I am going to build some new memories,
but my parents,
all they are left with old ones to relish....
.
.
.
may be one day I will have a daughter too...
may be then,
I will understand,
what they feel today.

momentary realization

last night as I walked
on the footpath of my dreams,
I saw a child crying of hunger,
a mother's eye full of despair,
an old woman lie dying,
a boy gazing at the sky,
in hope,
a girl's longing
for a bright new frock,
which she knew
her poor father couldn't afford,
and my eyes opened
at the sound of the alarm clock.

with i jolt I sat down on my bed,
and thought,
about the half drank milk
I leave everyday,
the money I squander
on my over filled wardrobe,
the parties i attend every week,
the food they throw on the street,
are they worth it?

what's the value of my life,
if I cant do something worthwhile...
with such a thought I sat down thinking...
I craved for the child's full stomach,
her mother's smile,
the old woman's recovery,
the boy's hope to be fulfilled,
the girl's happy face......

but I know
I would forget,
and join the party,
that's supposed to be on the next day
the realization is momentary
for deep inside I know
I am dead to the core............

A moment of hope

and it goes like this,
the songs of autumn fade
giving rise to winter winds,
not like the cool breezy
monsoon winds,
but cold chilly ones,
the birds migrated long ago,
to warmer lands,
guess they are afraid
to face the truth,
the tress are bare,
for they are saving
the last drops of water,
only I am left
with a white face,
shrinking body,
but an awakened mind,
migrating nowhere,
not hibernating,
not even saving,
for I have nothing,
just,
waiting for you,
counting every moment,
bearing the chill,
not for death,
I am too optimistic,
for that,
but for you
my dear spring.

a mere pawn

the woman walks with a child in her arms,
from door to door begging for alms,
or on some other day,
on a busy road,
at the traffic signals,
the baby sleeps soundly clinging to the mother's arms,
then again sometimes she sits on the footpath,
the sleeping child lying carelessly ,
with a milk bottle toppled down,
flies all around,
the woman shabbily dressed,
with flesh showing from here and there,
passers by oogling through,
the woman begs in the name of the child,
fast asleep the child knows none,
drugged he is,
drugged everyday by pills,
so that he doesnt cry,
nor ask for food,
who is this mother?
is she the mother who lulls?
the mother who sings sweet notes,
to the child's ears,
and who is this child?
does she belong to her,
or the child is a mere pawn for drawing sympathy,
bought for a few pieces of paper,
everyday,
from another mother,
will the child ever have childhood like you and I?
a simple question arises,
or is it simple at all?..........

where does innocence lie?

licking a lollipop the child moved,
unaware of everything,
unaware of the poisoning around,
of the bruises and the cuts she had everyday,
little did she knew,
she had been a prey to sadistic men,
who used a bait, a bait of toffees everyday,
men whom she called uncles,
she saw her mother crying,
her dad's grave face,
as she limped around licking her lollipop,
she wondered, what was the cry for,
awe-eyed she looked around,
as known faces slowly became strangers,
for her friends were no more friends,
now that she played alone,
but she knew she had her toffees,
and she limped around.....

mother to you...........

As i walk through the sand,
gravels prick my feet,
and it hurts but the pain is less
than the one that you have given me.

I know the blue bells still smiles,
and the roses still feel the same,
the tulips still dance,
and i still miss thee.

The warmth of your hand,
the kind smile, the touch you made,
the care you have taken, will no longer be.

Mother!why did you have to go?
i miss thee the pain is unbearable,
the fond memories are the solace,
for they are still there,
only you are no more........

it's difficult to hold back

is it so easy to go back,
to the place,
we have started from ,
is it so easy to forgive and forget,
and start everything afresh,
what you would have done, if you are in my place,
i have no words for you,
my heart doesn't give me a call,
i am clueless of the surroundings,
i don't know it was whose fault,
all i know i can't go back,
for the end is near,
i have lead my lifetime,
i have nothing more to give you my life,
i am a property of death now,
anytime he would be here,
anytime now...........

ecstacy

i run across the field,
you after me trying to catch up with my run,
i don't come at hand easily,
the wind is my friend,
it rustles through the leaves,
and creates a tune to muse,
the stream flows in a rhythm too,
the clouds float across the moon,
they accompany our game of hide and seek,
and then you catch me,
under the moonlight your face glows,
a glow of longing,
a sparkle in your eyes,
as if i am born on those eyes,
you murmur my name,
as i move closer,
our lips meet,
creating a heaven of our own,
as the night of ecstasy moves on.......

The Lily

a poem that inspired many a writes of mine is"the lily"written by my dear friend abhishek...this poem is a personal favourite of mine.So enjoy the read.

A soul sits white as death,
In the midst of a tear,
With solitude it did bathe,
Like a man, who lost his dear.

Perhaps its soul and heart wept,
Or they sang the songs of love,
Perhaps its eyes never slept,
Under the moon shining up above.

Beneath the cool singing breeze,
It lies still as a dead leaf,
Yet my heart gets joy and peace,
So o lily, please do forgive.


But o lily teach how can I learn,
For my mind drinks what I see,
As your loneliness always gets burned,
In your own grave of beauty.

only you ,and for all

sparkling,
tinkling,
move I,
from one hand to another,
drooling eyes,
loving gestures,
all follow me,
as I sweep around,
they love me,
I know,
but i care none,
I have lovers all around,
call me proud,
I don't mind,
for I know,
I am one,
benevolent,
there's a question mark,
malevolent,
thats you to decide,
lovers find solace in me,
drifted become stagnant,
but not homebound,
wives envy me,
curse me,
I only laugh,
its not my fault
you know,
I don't choose them,
they do,
love me,
hate me,
curse me,
but I will
always be there,
for you,
only you,
and for all...........


various images can crop up while reading this poem,but it is only about a glass of scotch...

destiny

by the shore
stood I alone,
facing the sea,
the languid air
gave me company,
langouring my effort
to move back,
the waves rushed on to
my feet,
taking away the sand
beneath,
I was loosing earth,
as if foretelling
I didn't belong to it anymore,
the dark clouds hovering around,
and it was destined to rain,
i heard a call,
slowly i moved towards the sea,
mesmerised
by its beauty,
mesmerised
as it slowly gulped
bits of me,
I felt
merging myself to the sea,
living back memories,
I belonged to the sea.

and on earth
it started raining...............

the lights flickered in the water,
as the reflection of the bridge moved
by the ripples,
a full moon,
the cool breeze,
the ghat,
the intoxicated me
by its beauty,
lovers:hand in hand stroll,
the call of the hawkers,
the smell of "pawbhaji",
the taste of "puchkas",
the boats ,
the lanterns,
the buoy,
mesmerised,
as i took a boat ride,
along with my friends,
Abhi, Shouvick, and I,
Abhi:my best friend,
Shouvick:a friend lost,
and all of us contemplating life,
our deeds,
our misdeeds,
our past,
our desperations,
our desires,
our hopes,
to find life
amidst lives,
the hoax in us
all shredded,
only for the time being,
you was you,
I was I,
.........................

the evening ended,
we towards our home,
back to the disguised
you and I,

back to our world of disguise.

ode to a molar

a tooth:a molar,
once shining as a pearl,
milky white,
flashed like a lightning
in a dark night,
uprooting a milk tooth
it was born,
surveying over the dentine region,
like a monarch,
sharp,
vibrant,
full of youth,
crushing ,
chewing,
enjoying,
partying,

then one day,
a germ attacked,
it took no notice,
proud,
undermined the other's worth,
the germ gradually proceeded,
the decay started,
slowly poisoning the root,
it was being eaten,
and a severe pain,
which no painkiller could soothe,


now it's a carious tooth,
suffering with swollen gums,
in its death bed,
waiting to be uprooted,
to lie in the dentist's tray.
.
.
.
an early demise,
.
.
.
for they say:
.
.
.
pride comes before fall.

the wall

i am a wall,
standing erect for age long now,
cant even remember the days
that gone and how,
giving support to the other three
which cease to exist today,
i stand alone all by myself,
i am old,
now weak and broken,
rugged and my skeleton shows,
one day i was young,
full of glories and glows,
now there are new walls,
fame come to them,
i am left in a corner
without any repair,
all i want to say,
the new walls would be old once
with rugged skeleton,
they would be just like me,
facing the same neglect ,
i face now,
so hault!
dont be proud of your new colours,
for colours fade soon,
despise me not now,
who knows
what will happen to you and how.

this one was written a year ago..very close to my heart.....

A LAZY WINTER MORNING

a lazy winter morning

a quilt lying aside

sleepy eyes trying to look

what the day has in store



old album on the bed

memories fading in and out

age has taken over

things difficult to remember



a bird chirping somewhere

a story to tell

may be of some sagas untold

or some unknown song of some distant place



a stick by the bed

a feeble hand hold it tight

careful steps followed

fond thoughts creep in



a lazy winter morning

a wooden chair rocking

eyes expecting something

may be news from the "HAPPY ISLE"