Monday, January 19, 2009

Confessions of a heavy heart

yesterday I happened to attend a party which a friend of mine threw in order to celebrate his last few days of bachelorhood.Every arrangement was near to perfect, there was more than ample food, drinks and things that was needed for a dry smoke.
Vikram (name changed)picked me up from near my house,Shounak(name changed) another friend was already in the car along with Ketan(name changed). it was Ketan's party. Abhirup(name changed)was supposed to meet up at the place where the party was arranged. Other than him swagata(name changed) and bimal(name changed) joined in.
And the party started.
The music was loud and all of us danced to the beats.and the fluids flowed along with smoke.There was a time when none of us was in our senses.
And things happened as it was not supposed to. One of us started abusing, and one slept like a log,Ketan was drunk but some what in his senses and so was I thank God for letting them stay in senses.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in the toilet , throwing up. The drinks and smoke did their part well.My nervous system stopped working.
I left for my house around five that evening. The whole way to my house I slept. Somehow I managed to reach home.
And straight away headed my bed only just to get up for my dinner.
Abhishek, my fiance grumbled and was quite disturbed with my behaviour and irresponsibilty and how I let him down.
Later in the evening, I had a fight with my friend abhirup, for showing him disrespect, according to him I kicked him hard many a times and which I faintly remembered.Hearing this I was ashamed and genuinely asked for forgiveness, which however, which was not ready to oblidge. I don't blame him for that.
I spent the whole night in uneasiness,my soul tormented me and how I let down everyone under the effects of booze and drugs.
Today morning I woke up with an heavy head and heavier heart.
I truely understood the effects of hard drinks and drugs and how things can take a cruel turn..It can change a normal human being in an animal as the person indulged in it loses the sense of time, place, agent and worst of all loses his morality and sense of dignity and decorum.So I take an oath from to today to refrain from such things that makes me an animal.
And from this day I say I quit.


Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

Philo,I would not object to you quitting booze as I had quit both boozing and smoking since a long time. But I have a point to make. Booze is NOT harmful, it's our over-indulgence in it is what makes matter worse. The fact that we don't have the required amount of self-control is what make us give in to the harmful effects of booze. It took me a day to quit smoking, but I know guy and girls who have tried it for ages and yet could not achieve the feat! There would be many other things like booze which you would encounter in life which you would indulge in, there quitting might become an issue if you don't have that much control over yourself. Start practicing it. It helps.


thanks raj...
i don't think quitting will be a hard thing to do.

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

Welcome! And I am glad that you had quit :)

shock said...

if ther people are the prople whom i think they ae...and if u hav kicjked the guy whose name starts with a...then its okay, that guy should be kicked regularly anyway...preferably once every fortnite......and i agree with the other dude here...drinking ain't t he problem....drinking too much good ever comes from smoking...smokers r dumbasses...and anyway ur lingering drunkenness is evident from the wanton cuelty to the english punctuation and the use of pronouns etc...:-)

wasted said...


I completely understand what you felt the day after the great party. The feeling of remorse is there, no doubt. But then, why bring in morality and ethics to such trifles. Not that I give a damn to either of the two concepts. For me the simple logic applies, do what you are happy doing...and leave judging things which you don't like aside.