Rendezvous

Monosyllable

2012-01-18T20:23:00.000-08:00

The hip flask still lies

on the table,

the table-where heaps of paper lies

amidst unknown poetry

and if you run your fingers

on the rims of the decorative corners

you will feel dirt

and may be a part of the pain

of those unknown poetry.

He was never a super star,

never aspired to be one,

he was a commoner

like you and me

but

different,

how?

don't ask me that.

the rusted locket that resembles

a skull,

is a heirloom now

that once belonged to him

and now to me

lies there in a box

of unhindered treasure.

The rust,the dirt

the unknown poetry

are blank spaces that

he lived once,

but

all is now a black sheet.

I tried to scribble something

but amidst the

unknown poetry

I am just an unknown monosyllable...

when i lost poetry

2012-01-11T07:17:00.000-08:00

Dreams as they come

as they fly

as they change

sometimes make me awe stuck.

I am who I am

wheatish,

toned,

moisturised...

you

dark,

memorable,

bitterly sweet,

dreamy feverishly dreamy.

yesterday when I lost poetry

I was sad

and then today I found

you again

poetry, you can be fickle minded.

today you are mine

tomorrow you move on

and you leave a mark

somewhere

and i am still searching....

it's just a phase.

2011-11-18T02:41:00.000-08:00

Mirror mirror

Do I look different today?

Are there any fine lines?

Are there any crow’s feet?

The mirror just smiled today

Strange!

This never happens

The mirror always has an answer.

Today is a special day

Twenty-nine years eleven months

and twenty nine days

that’s my age.

Hours, minutes and seconds

Doesn’t count

The day is normal

Yet so different

Turning thirty is okay

I thought

Last week my friend

Said, “life begins at thirty”

Yeah

I know

And the spending takes a different turn too

Confused and half minded today

I celebrate that last day

But the world doesn’t end

I am the same me

And you are the same you

Won’t you be?

Then there is

Olay

Ponds

And so many other products…

What do you say?

Grays

Oh common

I tend to keep them.

Magnolia, me and the broken stream.

2011-05-12T04:25:00.000-07:00

The magnolia stopped talking to me

can you believe it

he has stopped talking

reasons...well not known

with drooped head

he only sighs

a sunken heart and his branches

fall on the broken stream.

There's a rumour

that he is in love

the broken stream sings

sad romantic songs for him

Oh! what a love

what about me

nothing much

I only watch

these days I am much of observer

it's better not to comment

for first I have lost my nose ring

and now i have lost myself

does the magnolia care

nope

but he is sad for I am lost in the woods

and butterflies circle around me

and he sighs...

and the broken stream sings

some sad love songs

they are in love

that's the last thing

that I have heard.

Forgiven

2011-02-02T23:15:00.001-08:00

As you look for me

in the unkempt bed,

I laugh, for you will never find me,

I am dead,

what lies there is a living corpse

(a harsh word indeed)

but aren't you always

harsh to me,

your lust unfolds

to find my desires

and I am satisfied

with a never satiated inner being.

love got lost in lust

lust got lost in love

where I stand

I know not

sometimes somethings

should be left unknown

for now and always...

and you are forgiven

Blow me up

2011-02-02T23:12:00.001-08:00

a feeling is there

and there are no words to display

and I suffocate among innumerable words

let me breathe for a while

after that am all yours

entangle me and kill me

by your sheer whispering words

of love.

To Nayantara

2011-02-02T23:06:00.001-08:00

I wrote in a pensive mood

of bees, flowers and the

insane me.

I wrote about rainbows

and the misty mountains

and the promises he made during

the monsoon rains.

I wrote about floods

and the soaked heart

and the overflowing witty river.

I wrote about lovers and

their lovelorn hearts,

about you, them

and people lost in translation.

And then I got lost in

the jungle

of bitter phrases

Nayantara, come help me find a better way..

lets blame it on the weather

2010-10-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

The weather is good today
Makes me wonder a lot
About butterflies, flowers and rainbows
And about you

Thinking what you are doing
Whether your beloved is by your side
Are you holding hands?
Or lying together side by side

I sit on the parapet of my window
With a pen caught between my lips
Thinking of a line or two to write
Definitely not about you.

The sky is cloudy,
The moon is not hidden
It has just forgotten to rise
The stars
Well they are too lazy today

The wind blows my hair
And covers a part of my face
The young boy next door smiles
A silly smile

All seem nice today
Even the funny dog that
Sleeps on the roof
Is it the weather that turns me mad
Or it is just you?

Doesn’t matter
The weather is too good anyway.

colours.

2010-08-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

inspired
I wrote of colours,
blue, pink, orange, red and
many more like them
depicting each of them with an adjective
and with a mood
and then I stopped
finding it inadequate...

and from that day still now
I am searching for a particular colour
that could depict you
all I am left with black and white...

alas! I have no adjectives left for them.

Far Apart

2010-07-30T23:36:00.001-07:00

as we walked in the rain
as the droplets pierced us
I felt you again and again
as if we made love

the droplets cleaned us
yet we melted into the fathoms
of unknown longing
silence covered us
for we spoke with our eyes

sometimes hand in hand we walked
when nobody saw,
sometimes far apart
to keep away from stranger's eyes

love brought us together
but it is only for love
we walked on the opposite sides
as we reached our destined places

yet it is destiny that has brought
us together
will bind us in our bonds of
words, tears,flesh, blood and emotions
and we meet again and again
to part
for we are for each other
always and never
for we must stay far apart...

Freedom

2010-07-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

it's that time of the hour
and i head home
it's going late
and dark
am a little tired
homeward I run
only to find myself lost
there's another road which leads
to you
I turn back
and reached the point I
started from.

I neither belong to my home
nor to you now
it's time
I set myself free...

the old oak room at Dehra

2010-07-28T09:50:00.001-07:00

It was an old oak room in Dehra
a room with a fireside
'simmering on a slow burning fire
in our dance within a burning room'
we get burned in our pleasures
as everything around us got burnt.

the wine glasses laid as it was
as we drank from our eyes
were we drunk it's hard to tell
for the love we had
and the lust we displayed
our bodies glowed from
the light of the fireside
as it rained outside
it rained in our hearts too.

time stood there
motionless it was
there was no past, present or future.

and
I stop here too
as the oak room in Dehra doesn't exist
it is but just a dream
a dream that I sometimes live...

US

2010-07-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

he came into my life
as morning fresh air
as dew drops on grass green
oh! unlucky me
I could not fly
nor feel
my wings are clipped
my feet chained...

then he sang the song of
'unchained melody of freedom'
I was set free...

the songs of our freedom shall be
sung in our hearts
for we are forever
bound by the ties that bind

shall we name it love

to write a love poem

2010-07-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

With shutters half closed

And half awake

I see the dim table lamp

far away slowly fading

and I think of love

and senses loosen up…

Words fly and dance like fireflies

around my head

and jump like grasshoppers in my mind…

Today I thought

I will write a love poem: a happy one

‘Where boy meets the girl

falls in love

and then live happily ever after’

But sadly it’s 3 am

even an insomniac needs some rest

a long yawn

it’s time to head the bed.

The finale:

So you see

I will meet you some other day

Some other time

May be

With a half eaten (dark) chocolate

With molten caramel inside

The flavour: I will leave for you to decide.

some dopey thoughts

2010-07-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Once

I thought I would write a poem

On the luggage bags that laid

On the top of the cupboard

the way typical middle class people keep

I don’t complain

I am just one of them,

Then I thought why not write about

the cupboard itself

then I remembered the other things

in the room

the desk, the chair,

the books (that mostly lay here and there)

and of course my favourite bed.

But poor me

Expressionless

Wordless

Especially the poetic ones

And non rhythmic.

At last I wrote

About nothing

With earphones plugged to my ears

I lay upside down

With the pen

Caught between my lips

In deep intellectual thought

I jotted down some lines

What I thought was poetry

And then laughed aloud

Why?

I am yet to know

As of you

Think them as erratic feelings

of a highly doped mind

silence and the night

2010-07-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

It’s one o clock by the clock at night

And quietly I lie on the bed

The bed: a big part of my life

Off course I am a sleepy head

But there is more to it

It gives me company,

Bears witness to my cravings, desire

my pains my happiness.

And now it’s one o clock by the wall clock

And silence prevail

A strange silence

The street dogs don’t even bark

They must have had a long day

Silence

Well silence has a sound of its own

have you ever heard it?

I have heard

And I hear quietly lying

on my beloved bed.

The window doesn’t blow today,

The chime doesn’t swing

No it’s not hot,

But humid,

A tear drop accumulates

And then stays at the corner of the eye

Else it breaks the silence

And

I am at eternal peace

Wide awake

“sleeping pills” doesn’t work anymore

for it’s the night I enjoy more

and slowly and slowly

the night will pass

the sun will rise from the east

the crows will leave their nest

and together will the night and I

would take some rest…

Notes from the diary

2010-07-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

It’s 4 am in the morning
He has left for the airport
No, I have not gone to
see him off
I hate airports
Weird place I must say
Some meet, some part their ways
A commotion of emotional people.

Now I lay awake on the bed
The street lights peep in
through the window and falls
straight on my face,
the room is filled with a
mixture of sad tones
and the smell of last night’s love making
and there is I
waiting…

the last few days were bad
there was a constant fight between the heart
and the mind
nevertheless the mind won
city life you see
the city changes all
and we just run along with it
and then there is my poor heart
it lies somewhere in the corner of
my half lit room
hidden from all
while my mind prevail and rule
over it’s newly gained monarchy.

Time

2010-07-02T07:14:00.001-07:00

‘It is only a month dear’

He said

‘Time will fly away in the flash

Of the eye’

I smiled at him

Thinking

It is only a month

Oh! Yes,

Only a month

Then I thought of the days

Of the hours,

Of the minutes,

And the seconds

And then of love

And of pain.

‘Funny it is only a month

And time will fly in the flash of the eye’

I said aloud

And then kept quite

He went on talking

About things I could do

Read, write poetry,

Watch movies

And so on and so forth…

His words were

Like a buzzing sound

Entering through the ear

Going straight to the mind

Disturbing,

Irritating.

He is in his so called

Practical world

And I

I am an illusionist

Living in my own world

Of love

Lost

In the days, hours, minutes and seconds…

And then there is time,

that flies away in the flash of the eye..

a new life

2010-06-24T08:29:00.001-07:00

wondering how it was to write
long verses
filled with love and happiness,
and sometimes with deep pain
and sorrow,
today I have none with me,
the tears that once filled my eyes
when I used to be sad
are somewhere down in the grave,
even after long hours of digging
you won't find a droplet.
the happy chuckle is somewhere lost
deep in the woods.

whether love left me or I left love
I don't know
but believe me I tried
to be by its side all the time.

roads have diverged and
then met at a point,
misleading me all the while,
for every time I took the wrong path.
I am aimless now
just loitering in the unknown roads,
may be to find a new meaning of life,
no,
may be a new life.

It rained,It poured

2010-05-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

It rained after a long time
the perched earth relaxed
and smiled
and soaked all the water
that peeped in through the pores,
the soil was wet
and under a shade sat I
on an easy chair
looking at the moon
watching the clouds play
the sweet scent of jasmine
came in from the garden
the old gramophone played well,
notes of Tagore rang on my ears
all was at peace
the rhythm of life was back
aloud I cried
let it rain,
let it pore
let it soak all my soars
let it bring back what I had once lost
let time stop
for at last I did find you
at the corner of my heart
and my search for you was
complete.

We and I or I and We

2010-01-21T22:23:00.000-08:00

Before I become we
and we become I
let us stop for a moment
let us feel the void
and then
fill the void.

Do you feel me
or do you feel us
like you always say
sweetheart
it's not I anymore
it's now just us.

So
before we meet
to mate
before
we become I
let us feel the moment
and then fill the void

I smile

2010-01-13T23:21:00.000-08:00

once in a while
I drop by,
and I look for you.

sometimes I find you
as a tear drop
waiting to roll down
from my eye
in happiness,
in love,
in pain
and
I smile.

sometimes I find you
free flowing,
rippling,
dancing,
then I know
you are in a happy mood
I wash my feet
as you flow by
and I
smile

sometimes I find you
on the tip of the grass,
that wets my feet
as i walk by
in the early morn
to watch the sunrise
and
I smile.

sometimes I find you
dropping from the sky,
slowly drizzling,
and I walk through you
to feel you
and
I smile.

many seasons have passed
before,
and I have grown,
not the same old child anymore,
but
I do pray
let the innocence stay,
and
I smile always
the way I used to.

blue skies and seven hues

2010-01-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

once
i wanted to write
about blue skies
and seven hued rainbows,
but
my pen depicted
a cloudy sky
and smoky fog.

I don't know why
my friend used to tell,
blue or grey
it doesn't matter
as long as you
have a sky overhead.

I don't know why
he said so,
I never asked,
all I wanted was blue skies
and seven hues.

but
now I know
to get the
blue skies and seven hues,
you must have
the grey skies first,
and some rain
all around.

The muse speaks aloud

2010-01-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

am in a edgy mood today,
the poet is not by my side,
he found a lover of his own choice,
but
I am in love,
with the poet,
may be,
but he is a snob,
he talks like a commoner
and thinks his poem are
for people like him...

well
i am different,
yet I love the poet,
his smile make my knees weak,
and he bloody knows it,
a kind of passive seduction
it seems,
but he want to stay clean,
'for God's sake I am a commoner he says.'

infidelity
that's a harsh word
yet he is in love with me,
but
shhhhh
he can't speak out loud,
he read his poems aloud though
taking my name in between.

don't ask me who
I am
by this time you must know,
I am his muse
but shhhhh
he can't take my name.
he is a commoner after all.

The poet and his thoughts.

2010-01-01T02:10:00.000-08:00

the poet
is in a thoughtful mood today,
well
he is thoughtful always
but a little more today,
he is thinking about his writings,
does he understands what he writes,
or he just scribbles whatever comes in mind,
and then everything takes a form,
and there within comes out a new meaning.

but
that is not what he wanted to write,
sometimes a idea comes from within
and he starts writing,
jargons he seldom use
his poetry is for commoners,
not difficult to understand,
but commoners hardly read him,
they have better things to do.

the critics
well they are never in love with him,
after all he misses the rhyming scheme,
no, rhetoric words,
sometimes not even meledious,
sometimes they even lack a flow,
yet
the poet writes.

he knows
he has few readers,
sometimes nobody at all,
publishers has already turned their nose,
they look for a poet
who speaks well,
not somebody like him.

the poet
has no friends,
for they find him boring
he
is not frustated,
he will write on,
for thats the way he speaks his heart,
he is a common man after all.

today the poet is in a
thoughtful mood
may be he has something to share,
on the table lies
a pen
but there isn't a piece paper anywhere...

The Story of a Leaf

2009-11-13T03:43:00.000-08:00

I am a dead leaf
A part of the humus now,
Once I was a blooming bud,
Awaiting to be fully grown,
And I started my journey
In this unknown world.

With each passing day
I grew
Till one day
I was a big leaf
And every other leaf
Of the banyan tree
I was given the task
Of food processing.

From morning till
The afternoon
I cooked food
Night was the only time
I was allowed to rest.

That time of the day
Was what I called mine,
And then I talked to
my fellows leaves,
about our lives.

On some days
I listened quietly
To the birds
Who built their nest
On the branches,
Feeding on the fruits
Of the banyan tree,
They talked on various things,
From work to gossips,
And listening to their talks
I dozed off to a deep sleep.

Sometimes,
I watched weary travelers,
Sitting under the tree
Taking rest,
and talking among themselves.

Then one day came the stormy night,
Along with thunder and lightning
Came the rain,
Thunder struck the banyan tree,
Uprooted from the soil
It fell on its face,
And I tore off from my branch
Along my fellow beings
And drifted with the wind
Then I fell on the nearby stream.

For day I floated in the water,
Until one day I reached the shore,
But by that time,
Parts of me was rotten,
And I knew it was time
To say good bye.

Now I am a part of the humus,
And on me new plants grow,
But I wish
Sometimes I lived
And could watch
my grand children grow.
but
my story is left incomplete.

the dead poet

2009-09-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

the poet is sad again,
the lonely poet
wandering the roads once again,
incase he finds some pebbles
to keep him company,
miles after miles he walks,
talking to the unknowns,
who become his knowns ones,
and his known ones move far away,
farther and farther with each milestone.

the poet doesn't write anymore,
for he has no story to tell,
his stories are lost in the graves of his lost ones,
he doesn't cry for them,
only sometimes
a tear or two fall,
for he can't stop them,
but he wishes he could.

the old poet sometimes wishes for a different life,
a different story to be told,
only death can fulfill that wish,
but he knows death is yet to come,
he is still young,
though old in thoughts,
his wrinkled, crippled thoughts betray his age
and he is already dead
only no one notices.

so he wanders aimlessly
in the Road of Life,
without poetry,
without Rumi, without Ghalib,
the wordsmith's hammer doesn't work anymore,
the chisel is blunt
it no more engraves the rock,
and like a nomad he runs
from this door to that door,
in the hope
incase he finds,
yes, incase he finds
his lost words,
the words he never wrote.

the suffocated poet

2009-09-16T02:23:00.000-07:00

In this hot sultry afternoon,
With people shouting at the top of their voices,
As sweat trip down their dusky toned faces,
My poetry is lost.

Once in a while
I try to write,
But in between I just collapse,
The sounds rotate in my mind,
Merging my thoughts and words,
And nothing comes out.

Some say I need a break,
I say I need lots of them,
The heat is rising beyond its level,
And I find it hard to cope.

Now it has started raining,
I look through my office window
And just watch,
The piercing arrows,
How I wish I could feel the needles,
How I wish I could release my pains.

There are so many things I want to talk about,
So many a things to share,
But neither do I find the words
nor do I find the thoughts.
And I look blankly outside.

The world beyond the window
Seems so tempting,
It neither deals in prose nor in poetry,
I wish I could cross the border,
I am a cursed soul
in the custody of a worn out body.

No, I don’t wish for death,
I want to live
All over again,
I want to feel everything that I have not felt,
I want to feel the world beyond my closed windowpane.

As slowly I return to my old rugged seat,
Away from the world of imagery
In between mundane deeds,
I have lost my poetry.

a distorted youth

2009-09-07T00:54:00.000-07:00

Like a street dog
I roam
In the nooks and corners
Of my favourite lanes,
Why?
I don’t know
Never found an answer,
Never wanted to.

I have some friends
Sharing the same fate as I,
Yet I am alone,
Aimless;
Jobless
No,
I am not,
Yet I roam like one,
To find something unknown.

I have left the business of love unfinished,
At the juncture
Where two roads meet,
The feelings still remain unexplored,
The passion unfulfilled.
And I am in a sea of unknown pain,
And I walk towards the shore.

The books that I have read
Failed to satisfy my quench,
I long for an unknown world,
In the nooks and corners of my known lanes.

Sometimes
I ask myself,
Am I mad?
Or the world is going nuts,
I fail to find an answer,
But I ask none.

And like a street dog,
I roam,
Unfulfilled,
Unknown by my known world,
Trying to find a meaning of youth,
Now in the nooks and corners of
My old room.

just my criminal mind

2009-09-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

A spoonful of sugar,
Two cubes of ice,
A dash of lime,
30 ml of scotch,
A cocktail prepared,

And with a gulp you drank all,
Your favourite drink.

A white livid face,
A pinch of pain,
A single query,
You ask ‘why’

Left unanswered forever.

A motionless body
Lying on the floor,
Sitting beside it,
I smiled the peaceful smile.

But alas! You died a much painless death,

And I died many,
many more a times.

cats! cats! I see cats all around

2009-08-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

There was a dream,
A dream that I dreamt
Last night,
Nah
Today morning,
For it was around 8 am
How do I know?
For the alarm rang.

There was a dream,
A dream that I dreamt.

In the dream I saw,
Two cats trying to snuggle through the window
I drew my mother’s attention to the sight,
And cried aloud with a fright,
My mother led them snuggle,
And I yelled.

My mother said there were mice,
Which was nothing but mere vice(s)
Cats are wonderful all she said,
And I whimpered and yelled.

The cats just observed our fights,
Slimy creatures they are I made my mind.

Now they talked among themselves,
And I eavesdropped to their conversation.

The female thought they shouldn’t miss this chance
For mice are good for dinner and lunch.

Plus a cozy place
They would get,
And snick out time for some romance.

The male thought we might ask for something
For the place,
Especially me for he thought I was a nut case,

Seventy bucks at the most he could give.
Nothing else,
Not a dime more or less.

Taken aback by their audacities,
‘Can cats talk?’
I thought out of curiosities.

And at that moment the alarm rang,
My dream was broken at that instant.
I opened my eyes to look around,
Saw two cats sitting on the ground.

Amazed and dazed
I rubbed my eyes,
They just smiled and meowed
And left the house.

And from that moment till now,
Am seeing cats all around.

I am lost

2009-07-29T04:21:00.001-07:00

I am lost,
That’s all I know,
My gray matter doesn’t respond.
Am lost
amidst all.

You are you,
but I am not I,

And there is your smile,
And there are my cries,
And am lost amidst all.

Sanity is not for me anymore,
With a deceased heart,
And brainless mind,
I am still alive.

None but a worthless life has I.

But what is the use of such a life,
You are you, but I am not I,

And there is your smile.
And there are my cries,
And amidst all I am lost.
I am between the smile and cries.

And slowly hollowness creeps.
And I succumb to it,

And for once I look for you,
You are you,
But I am not I.

the corrupt soul

2009-07-21T00:27:00.000-07:00

The corrupt soul lies back today,
not much in a mood to play mind games,
in peace it is,
harmless,
bothering none,
and I smile,
the wickedest one,

For the corrupt soul resides in me.

today is my birthday and i am dead

2009-07-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

today is my birthday,
and I am not among you all,
yet I am
do you know how?
of course in spirit and form.

do you remember the times
I used to write long lines,
the ones I used to call
"recollections of a troubled mind"
and used to pass it to all.

some of you thought
I was crazy,
for some I was a buffoon,
for some I was the best of pals,
but I love you equally and all.

I see you remember my birthday today,
and doing things I love most,
and believe me am missing you,
and not apart from you at all.

I see my parents shedding tears,
my ma crying all alone,
my baba is quite as usual,
trying to hide is pain from all,
my jeja, the painter at heart
hiding his tears and laughing
with all.

I wish I were with you,
I wish I could feel you,
I wish I could understand your pain,
I wish I were with you once again,
laughing, partying, enjoying life as ever again.

today is my birthday,
I am not among you all,
yet I am,
do you know how?
of course in spirit and form.

to you my friend abhinandan.......you truely live in spirit and form.

oh! my poor poor sun

2009-07-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

It’s the rain everybody is talking about,
I will talk about the sun,
these days the dark clouds
are bothering him too much,
they hover all around him,
and then they rain,
and people think it’s the clouds responsible.

But my dear friends
what if I say?
the clouds bothered the sun so much,
he’s crying all day.

Not a moment of peace he has,
the clouds are such bullies,
tormenting him day and night,
no matter in which hemisphere he is.

So I took a step yesterday,
And informed the commissioner of clouds
About the torture and the pain.
The head looked at me sternly
and grumbled and said:
“Its monsoon, so what to do
that’s the rule you see,
every year about this time,
we bother the sun with all might and glee.
So before you lodge a complain
next time,
come with facts and figures properly”

Along with the sun today
I am sad too,
And now it’s raining all through the day.

The clouds and their mighty guns playing all the way………..

today I am in a mood to cry

2009-07-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

Today I am in a mood to cry,
Should I say mood
Or just say I want to cry,
See there’s already a tear
In my perfect almond shaped eyes,
a drop of pearl according to some.

But today I am happy,
The weather is nice too,
Its monsoon round here,
And it’s drizzling.

I love it when it drizzles,
Love to walk on an empty street
On such a day…..

Yet today I am in a mood to cry…
me and my mood,
Always playing hide and seek
with each other,
but today I am happy.

Way to my office
I listened to my favourite
song on air,
Perfect song
for the perfect weather.

Yet today I am in a mood to cry…

I read a lovely poem
on a forum by a friend,
perfect poem for the perfect day,
on my favourite season,
‘monsoon dance’ it is named.

Perfect day,
perfect everything,
even the wind my lover
passed through me,
whispering sweet notes of love
and I blushed as usual.

Yet today I am in a mood to cry,
may be ’coz the wind just passed by,

To write a letter (part 2)

2009-07-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

It’s the same letter
Addressed to me,
I haven’t answered it yet,
The question was who to answer it to,
Someone said send it to the winds,
I tried to write as told,
But in vain it went,
And the wind these days
Passing the other way,
No more in love with me you see,
It’s warm in here,
Not the kind of warmth one likes,
but the uneasy ones.

The letter, the letter,
It’s killing me,
Not a line written,
Not a sender found,
Am in between hustle and bustle,
The daily chores remain untouched,
The bedside table remains the same,
No more cleaning spree,
In case another such letter found.

The Wind

2009-07-07T01:05:00.000-07:00

The wind betrayed me today,
it passed the other way,
didn't even look at me once,
how insensitive
it can be at times,
quite a hard thing to imagine.

The wind: my best friend,
always carried sweet notes
of perfume
some from Arabia,
now mostly French ones,
they are in vogue, I heard.

The wind used to carry messages
of love,
whispering in my ears,
and I blushed,
now am pretty sad,
why the wind is mad
with me?
Nobody said a word, not even hushed.

All I know today it’s flowing the other way,
must have found a better lover than me,
it’s the season of infidelity.

Well, my dear wind,
my best friend,
my lover
come back
If time and love affords,
Some day, some time….

I will be here waiting
waiting for you forever
by the same window seat,
the exact place where you left me………

to write a letter

2009-07-02T04:23:00.000-07:00

a letter arrived God knows when,
and laid by the bedside forgotten,
today on a cleaning spree
I opened it,
the envelope had my name on it
and my address,
but to my surprise no sender's name,
in it was two papers,
one blank,
nothing written,not even a dot,
the other one carried a small note:
"write in blood,
wrench your heart,
squeeze your soul,
delve in pain and then create a poem
full of thought"

and now I sit idle,
knowing not what,
is there an answer to such a letter at all?
addressed to where and to whom?

do you remember me?

2009-06-30T03:35:00.000-07:00

do you remember me?
once I used to write long notes to you,
some sweet, some like the bitter moon,
some sad tunes too,
some lullabies,
some which said nothing at all.
do you?
do you remember me?

once i was a part of you,
even today I remain with you,
may be in bits and parts,
or may be in whole,
why don't you search your heart?

do you?
do you remember me at all?

things may have changed,
some new ones must have been born,
but there are the old ones,
have they forgotten(me) or gone

I re ask again and again,
do you?
do you remember me at all?

and for those you never knew me,
I am a part of you,
and will always remain so,
never mind how,
never mind how new............

the lost'highland lass'

2009-06-05T04:09:00.000-07:00

the damp soil bears her scent,
lingering as she walks by;
the air is heavy with the lovers' sighs
which fall as she smiles.

the flowers tucked on her hair,
mogra most of the time,
the bees hum some strange tunes,
as they follow her all the while.

drops of pearls sparkle on her lips,
as she drinks from the fountain of love;
and many a hearts she has killed,
by her subtle coyish charms.

as she baths in the river
that flows into a chasm deep,
the angels secretly gaurd her,
while the water lilies 'tend her hair,
the fishes clean her olive skin.

as she sways through the feilds of corn,
with a sickle in her hand,
the poppies dance and swing,
and they say she is from queen Sheba's land.

the birds of the woods are her friends,
and they twitter along with her,
as she speaks , the cuckoo sings,
and all hearts miss a beat.

there is none
that remain untouched,
awed eyed they stare as she pass(es)
who she is?
no one knows,
some say
she is the lost 'highland lass'.

For you my friend

2009-05-20T02:02:00.000-07:00

as I walk through park street,
near the music shop
I see the same ice cream parlour,
but I don't see you standing,
may I ask you why?

as I sit down in the coffee shop,
to sip a cup of coffee
to soothe my strainous nerve,
I look for you,
but I don't find you,
may I ask you why?

when I am at the bar,
drinking that bitter scotch
with just two cubes of ice,
remember it's your favourite,
and our old brand too,
the chair next to me is empty,
may I ask you why?

everything is perfect
everything is fine,
everything is just the same,
but its only you
and its only I......
may I ask you why?

life is short
they say,
and you proved it by all way,
and I just wait for my turn,
in some curious funny way.

memories remain
and they come back often,
I love them at times
and hate them now
as you hated them often...

I don't want memories,
neither good nor bad
I just want you here my dear friend,
as you always been
forever for me,
I want things to be just the same..........

ode to the rains

2009-03-31T02:31:00.000-07:00

My mind revolves
As I look up
High above in the shy,
The mackerel clouds float,
The sky is all clear,
And there is no sight of rain,
Yet I can smell the rain.

My heart leaps with joy,
As if am a nine year old child,
Crushed by the summer’s heat,
I gorge into the watermelons
Throwing away the seeds,
And they stare bare at me,
Waiting too for the showers,
To fall on them,
And there is no sight of the rain,
Yet I can smell the rain.

Lazy afternoons pass by,
And I lie under the shades of the tress,
Usually reading a book,
Mostly poems of Keats and Shelley,
Sometimes I doze off,
Taking a siesta,
Then in my dream come you,
With your cool showers.
And a smile appears from nowhere.

I eagerly wait for the rain,
Much alike the famine stricken farmer,
Only my pain is less,
But the longing may just be the same,
For prickly heats kill me,
For they burn
As I rub ice on my face…

They say the rain is going to be late this year,
For that’s the weather forecast,
But deep in my heart I know
They are wrong,
For I smell the rain every where,
The magical winds bring me the news,
And it’s going to rain soon
For I smell the rain,
I smell the rain everywhere.

somethings are better un-named

2009-03-27T03:42:00.000-07:00

As the hot wind blew to and fro
As the desert snake hissed,
As the sun scorched up above,
And I searched for a dream.

And then came you,
With the same view
As that of mine,
Following the same path,
To become my co-dreamer.

No, I was not afraid to you,
Together we followed the path
That led us,
And together we searched for a dream,
A particular dream.

Then we reached a point,
Where the earth was perched,
We both sat together at that point,
And tears rolled downed from our eyes,
The soil got wet,
The perched earth softened,
And from our pockets
We threw some seeds of love,
And waited for days,
And cried everyday,
Till our eyes went dry,
And we had nothing more to offer.

And then one day,
When the sun was up high,
The hot wind blew to and fro,
A bud came out,
From a seed,
For only a seed was alive,
For none could bear the heat
And then slowly the bud grew
And one day it bloomed,
Together we cried,
My co-dreamer and I,
And the together we laughed,
For the fruit of our love was still alive.

As the hot wind blew to and fro
As the desert snake hissed,
As the sun scorched up above,
And I realized my dream.

Moments as they pass by

2009-03-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

the moments passed away slowly,
taking a part of me,
everytime,
and slowly I was decaying
much like a fading essence of a rose,
he once said
"Don't shade your tears,
for they are for the weaker ones"and
I hadn't from that moment
yet something was there,
something,
that I couldn't say
or didn't understand
I wished I could cry sometimes,
The tears were stuck,
In my eyes
waiting to drop
Alas!my fate was not to cry,
but to wait
for an hour more of my life,
for another moment to passby,
another rose to wilt and wither away,
another tear ready to fall,
but to die a premature death.

the incomplete call.

2009-03-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

the knocks at the door don't let me sleep,
and I lay awake all through the night.
There's a call,
is it for me,I fail, to understand,
yet I listen to it quietly
lying on the bed.

there's a tap on the window,
who's there?
I cry,
nobody answers,
and then there are taps,
and I listen quietly lying on the bed.

my heart thumps fast
as if it wants to fly away from the cage,
far, far away
to some unknown lands,
horrified,
I close my eyes,
hug my pillow tight,
the thumping doesn't stop.

suddenly all were quiet,
silence before the storm,
I touched my heart,
am I dead?
no, my heart beats
although slow
and I draw a sigh of relief,
but it's a momentary one.

It starts all over again,
here thunder strikes twice,
the night is long,
the wind gushes through the trees,
the owl hoots frequently,
and I lay quiet
listening to the knocks, the taps and the thumps
and waiting for the call
which is yet to come
and the knocks don't let me sleep,
and are you awake too
along with me
all I hear is the wind
rushing through the trees.

try again,try again

2009-03-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

I ruffle,
I shuffle,
I grumble,
I rumble,
I beg,
I cry,
am I lost in the monotony of the game,
what game?
life's game
am I a miser
or a loser?
just swimming in fantasy and desire,
I growl,
I moan,
and then I laugh
a silly laugh,
and then cry
over my own folly,
or at my might,
I achieve,
I deceive,
I confuse only to diffuse,
I praise
sometimes false....
am I a hypocrite
am I feeble,
or just disabled
by norms and rules,
but provided by whom?
am I neddy,
then again I play,
the life game,
can I stop,
do you stop,
is it possible to stop?
lose or gain
try again,
try again,
is this a motto
or just a saying
for a feel good feeling,
does it count
all is but same at the end,
try again,
try again
and then again and again............

Prisoner of Time

2009-03-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

This poem is on my love for Sunday, as a person I am lazy, a born supporter of Garfield....mu ah, love him dearly for what he is...and love lasagna too...

My mornings do not mean
the sunrise on earth,
your face is my hope of light,
for I go through six days of darkness
and the seventh day blesses me with your sight.
this one day
I am no more a prisoner,
nor am I an unnoticed sign,
for in your presence,
I feel my existence,
but,
alas! from the next day
I am again the prisoner of time.

And then
sorrow creeps in my heart,
pain pops up its cruel head,
darkness all around,
no matter where ever I turn;
fine lines appear
as tension draws its lines,
and I wait eagerly for you
with every seconds and every
count of time.

The day before your arrival,
time passes slowly than usual,
the longing, the passion, the wait
seems like ages,
and I grow so restless
the hour glass seems to be stagnant,
and I crave for you
and your bright smile.

And then the seventh day come,
with all pomp and show
making a grand entrance,
the church bell rings at early dawn,
the chorus sings,
swallows twitter
and the love wind blows,
and I open my eyes
with hopes and desires
and longings of the days gone by,
for it is time
when your arrival is to be.
but
alas! time is always futile,
the day passes by
and again I fall prey
to the grips of time.

I am Beautiful

2009-03-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

early sunday morning
very near to dawn,or
say dawn just walked away,
I look at myself in the mirror,
my eyes,
my lips,
my innocent smile,
there's no make up,
not even a dash of kohl,
and my lips are nude,
then I hear to what the mirror says
keeping my ears wide open,
It says
I am beautiful
I smile,
I laugh,
I giggle,
and the I turn coy,
and I laugh at the mirror,
to what the mirror says,
Oh! I am beautiful,
am so beautiful,
and I keep on talking
to the mirror,
I turn, I swing,
I go round and round
with my arms over my head,
af if intoxicated,
I sing,
I dance,
I look at the mirror,
I recognise myself,
I am beautiful,
not for beauty's sake,
but I feel beautiful.

this poem is dedicated to the sunday dawn that made me realise that I am beautiful from inside.

a game

2009-02-24T22:59:00.000-08:00

away, away
i fly
among the clouds
everytime
to play
hide and seek with them;
sometimes,
they give me a fright,
with louds thunders,
and bright light,
afterwards they laugh,
a rollicking laugh,
enjoying the game,
but i hate it so
very much
everytime;
a tear drops
from my eyes,
another feather burnt,
another feather lost,
soon i will turn bald,
my line is thinning,
my skin shows,
oh!poor me,
oh!poor me,
the clouds don't show any mercy,
like a goon
they give me fright
everytime,
time and again,
yet i play with them,
i fly among clouds,
for my love for soaring heights,
i do fly,
i do fly.

oh! my beloved books

2009-02-23T01:21:00.000-08:00

one fine day
some termites decided to make a nest,
and the queen led them the way,
they found a cosy corner
in my beloved book shelf,
where my books were kept in an order,
by names of poets and authors,
to whom I referred to
day to day.

to my utter dismay,
my books were being eaten,
as they were their source of sustenance,
heart broken was I
as tears rolled down,
but I failed to wail at the sight,
for wrath had taken over
as I saw the extent of my disaster.

the collection on Keats was gone,
Browning laid half eaten,
Essays Of Elia was lost,
Baugh's philology succumbed to its fate,
Wordsworth was fully soiled,
for Paradise Lost:paradise was lost,
and in my mind was the urge to take revenge.

so I decided to kill,
every single one of them,
covering my face,
I attacked
with the anti-termite spray.
as if it was a guerrilla fight,
here and there they ran,
up and down on my hand,
biting forcefully as I yelled in pain.

at last they were vanquished,
mercilessly as I killed
each one of them,
thousands laid dead,
including their queen
some wounded,
waiting for their doomed fate,
and a victory smile appeared on my face,
along with a tear of loss,
for my books on poetry were lost.

how can I decide who lost and who won
at the end...............

tagged by the meister

2009-02-12T01:01:00.000-08:00

1. if your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?

well i was betrayed once, it hurts a lot and you feel that's the end but life moves on.

2. if you can have a dream come true,what it would be?

rarely any of my dreams come true but if it is a particular dream then it would be travelling to Europe and visiting Rome and Greece.

3. whose butt would you love to kick?

there's many in the list. one day i will kick them all.

4. what would you do with a billion dollars?

simple answer: invest and travel.

5. will you fall in love with your best friend?

nahhhh...never, rather the opposite happened to me.

6.which is more blessed;loving someone or being loved by someone?

of course being loved by someone.

7. how long would you wait for someone you love?

all my life.

8. if the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

nothing,but always be by the side of that person.

9. if you could root for one social cause what it would be?

i would rather root for two: illiteracy and social problems related to old age.

10. what takes you down the fastest?

hypocrisy and lies.

11. where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

as a published author.

12. what's your fear?

am afraid of fire. i fear that i might get burnt.

13. what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you?

a sweetheart at times, a nice person in general, with a acute disease of falling in love time and again.

14. would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

well can't help it but be married and poor.

15. what's the first thing you do when you wake up?

stretch my arms and look at the time on the big wall clock.

16. if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who will you choose?

the one who loves me.

17. will you give up all in a relationship?

yeah i will.

18. would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

i might forgive but i will never forget.

19. do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

both has flaws but i would rather be in a relationship.

20. list of people to tag: kabir, rajtilak, abhinandan and supriya.

the sky and the moon

2009-02-04T23:37:00.000-08:00

the night was sombre,
the full moon was up high,
and the clouds floated
adorning the moon and the sky,
a thought came to my mind:
who was more beautiful that night?
was it the moon or the sky?

the moon laughed and said,
'of course it was I,'
the sky made a face and said,
' how could it be so
you shone with borrowed light'
the moon argued,
'but you remained dark without me
all through the night.
the stars were quite,
the clouds bore witness to the fight.

days passed in silence,
the moon was angry with the sky,
nor was the sky going to oblige,
their love was lost,
so was their harmony,
the stars were sad,
the clouds floated aimlessly,
the moon changed it's form
with each passing day,
and then came the night
when everything appeared dark,
the moon had forgotten to rise,
for it was new moon's day.

the sky missed the moon,
the moon missed it too,
but the sun came in the way,
then the clouds spoke aloud,
'the fight was useless,
why did you fight in the first place,
the sky was nothing without the moon,
the moon always had to shine on the sky,
they were made for each other
from the first day.'

the fight came to an end,
slowly the moon rose the next day,
and after fourteen days
came again the full moon day,
the stars twinkled happily,
the clouds were happy too,
the moon shone brightly in between them.

the night was sombre,
the full moon was up high
the clouds floated
adorning the sky and the moon
seeing their ethereal harmony,
all thoughts ceased to exist........

gone are the days

2009-02-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

gone are the days
when i rode free on clouds
indulged in some bubble thought,
sometimes glancing at the rising sun.

gone are the days
when rain fell on a lotus leaf
and i captured the moment
in my memory.

gone are the days
when birds twittered,
and i by the window sill,
listened to their songs of love.

gone are the days,
when on a starry night,
the owl hooted
and my heart raced for the unknown.

gone are the days
when the full moon rose on the mountain top,
adorned by a garland of clouds,
and i hummed a tune,

gone are the days
when the little boy played his flute
at midnight, when all were fast asleep,
and i remained bemused by his muse.

now i dwell
among bricks and rocks,
where all is but concrete,
all i hear are horns of cars,
and i want to scream
in the acid rain,
which try to fade my memory.

alas!
i moved away,
away from my home,
the bubble thoughts,
the sunshine,
the rain,
the starry night,
the moon,
the flute,
the muse,
and now i live alone,
alone in the crowd.

alas! gone are the days.....

irony of fate

2009-01-29T22:33:00.000-08:00

one fine afternoon,
after a hearty meal,
i stopped by the mall,
just to window shop,
then from nowhere came a sound,
a weird
'gr,gr, groom'
around I looked to find
what was it all about,
It was she,
who made the sound,
for she spotted a pizza
in the parlour ,
big and round,
and pulled me inside
as she growled,
seeing her tantrums
I gave in,
finding a comfortable seat,
she asked me in,
just to place the order,
a fiery chicken pizza
with ringo garlic base
with extra cheese and crunchy chicken,
along with it came coke and garlic breads,
she digged in the food
licking her lips,
chewing, crushing in between.

the next morning things happened
as it was supposed to be,
the night was stormy,
though the day was bright,
and that day lightning struck twice,
she spent the night and the next morn
in the loo,
and along with her,
I suffered too.

afterwards a doctor had to be called in,
he prescribed total bed rest
and a diet regime,
I always heard regimes were for work outs,
but then I knew it was for diet too.

the next few day she laid in bed,
with all sorts of aches and pain,
along with her I too, took some rest,
the Sunday party was missed,
and broken hearted I laid,
the pillow my tears softly kissed.

in the end I must say,
I wished! how I wished,
you would sometimes listen to me,
my stupid, stupid stomach,
it was all your fault,
did you know,
how much
I suffered 'cause of thee???

a pinch of hope

2009-01-28T22:07:00.000-08:00

as the moon sinks down
to give rise to an early dawn,
the stars fade in
to spread a new light.

the early birds leave their nests
and fly in search of new goals,
the languid air strolls,
and the river flows
with new dreams to provoke.

then from nowhere dark clouds arrive
with hail, rain and storm,
and covers the golden glow,
yet, the early birds fly
with missions in their minds,
and hopes in their hearts,
to beak through all.

piercing through the clouds
they fly with undaunted spirits,
making way for
the golden chariot to run
to rekindle the fire,
to relight the glow,
and with a galore of dreams to follow..............

Confessions of a heavy heart

2009-01-19T02:15:00.000-08:00

yesterday I happened to attend a party which a friend of mine threw in order to celebrate his last few days of bachelorhood.Every arrangement was near to perfect, there was more than ample food, drinks and things that was needed for a dry smoke.
Vikram (name changed)picked me up from near my house,Shounak(name changed) another friend was already in the car along with Ketan(name changed). it was Ketan's party. Abhirup(name changed)was supposed to meet up at the place where the party was arranged. Other than him swagata(name changed) and bimal(name changed) joined in.
And the party started.
The music was loud and all of us danced to the beats.and the fluids flowed along with smoke.There was a time when none of us was in our senses.
And things happened as it was not supposed to. One of us started abusing, and one slept like a log,Ketan was drunk but some what in his senses and so was Shounak.today I thank God for letting them stay in senses.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in the toilet , throwing up. The drinks and smoke did their part well.My nervous system stopped working.
I left for my house around five that evening. The whole way to my house I slept. Somehow I managed to reach home.
And straight away headed my bed only just to get up for my dinner.
Abhishek, my fiance grumbled and was quite disturbed with my behaviour and irresponsibilty and how I let him down.
Later in the evening, I had a fight with my friend abhirup, for showing him disrespect, according to him I kicked him hard many a times and which I faintly remembered.Hearing this I was ashamed and genuinely asked for forgiveness, which however, which was not ready to oblidge. I don't blame him for that.
I spent the whole night in uneasiness,my soul tormented me and how I let down everyone under the effects of booze and drugs.
Today morning I woke up with an heavy head and heavier heart.
I truely understood the effects of hard drinks and drugs and how things can take a cruel turn..It can change a normal human being in an animal as the person indulged in it loses the sense of time, place, agent and worst of all loses his morality and sense of dignity and decorum.So I take an oath from to today to refrain from such things that makes me an animal.
And from this day I say I quit.

life's a satire

2009-01-14T00:53:00.000-08:00

oh!
praises,
praises,
how much I love them,
flowers! of course yes,
I love them,
lilies,
a bouquet of lilies
to be exact,
white ones, mark it,
oh! how much i love them,
chocolates!
that sounds so middle class,
i know, i know,
I belong tothat class too,
but
no harm in camourflage,
no harm in such shows.

I used to love chocolates once,
now a strict no, no,
maintaining my my figure,
you see,the fat would do me harm,
and won't help me in my skin show,
Oh!yes, my zero size figure,
ies't it amazing
surgeries...
hush! hush!
that's a lie
badmouthers you know,
it's the power of yoga and regular diet,
of course i maintain it,
anorexic-damn that word
people love me this way,,
oh! yes, yes, my fans,
how can I forget them,
I love them all,
muah, muah,
they have made mewhat I am.

being what I am is hard,
being myself is harder,
so I don't try to be myself anymore,
maintainance costs a lot
there's a cut everywhere,
recession creeps into all,
and look at me,
I can't take tensions,
oh! how much I hate them,
it will ruin my skin,
fines lines will appear,
iI just can't afford that.

poor me,
poor, poor me,
my price has gone down,
no matter, how much I shed my clothes,
damn!
damn!
damn this recession
you know.

sigh!
life's nothing but a satire...
only if I could break through.

from your beloved

2008-12-17T21:44:00.000-08:00

In some deep thoughts
I am buried,
Is it you
That I am referring to,
Do you know
That I have an urn,
Not a beauty though,
Not anything like the Grecian urn
That Keats' spoke of,
‘beauty is truth, truth beauty’
Remember the line,
Do you remember
that my dad once gave you along lecture on that,
and how you sat dumbfounded,
knowing not the reasons,
yet, you listened,
the reason was me then,
the reason is still me now,
look how you mislead me,
that’s the charm you still have on me,
I was speaking of my urn,
You know I keep all my sorrows and pains there,
The pains that you once gave me,
The sorrows that I secretly hold it to myself,
Now you know
Why the urn is not a beauty,
Though it’s intricately carved with gold,
The base colour is pink you know,
Yes pink: you heard me right,
My favourite colour,
Do you remember the pink shawl
that you gave it to me on my birthday,
The one that got lost,
Do you remember,
Do you remember anything at all,
Anything about us,
Anything about me,

The urn,
the urn has it all,
I have kept everything in it,
My pains and sorrows,
No, I have nothing else to give you ,
You have had my shares of pleasure,
Now have my share of pain and sorrows too,

……from you beloved
And thank you.

for the love of life

2008-12-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

let me live for the day
I shout,
'wait', they say,
and I stand in the queue,
there are thousands before me
and thousands after,
all waiting for just a little life,
amazed and aghast
I stand,
waiting to live for the day,
with patience and penance,
then starts a rush,
turning to a fight,
as they announce,
there are few seats for life,
I join in the fight,
for I am no different from others,
some fall like fallen angels,
to suffer more,
there are cries,
cries all around,
I too fall yet to rise again,
I cheat,
for all is fair in love and war,
you can call this to be love,
love for life,
you can call this war,
war for the love for life,
now all is up to you.

does time heal

2008-12-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

the coffee mug just broke,
Is mimo the one to blame,
no, I dont think so
who's mimo,
well he is just a cat,
well, it must be my callous mind then,
always indulged in something
or the other,
that's what my mama would have said,
but the coffee mug is broken,
does it matters how,
I will join the the pieces,
with fixit ofcourse,
and I know it will be fixed,
what!
a scar,
of course it will remain,
no, there's no remedy to that,
time!
does time heal all?

Unnamed

2008-11-24T02:53:00.000-08:00

finally
we part,
and the moments get lost in translation,
water droplets accumulate
on the window pain,
and vapourise
as the sunbeams fall on them,
I feel a burn on my skin,
from nowhere blisters appear,
and as they burst i feel a strange pain,
I see your face
as it appear from nowhere
only to fade again,
I smile,
I cry,
I hope,
I pray,
I yearn,
to be with you again,
or
the verse will remain unnamed,
until you give it a name,
someday the nightingale will sing again..............................

I,the man

2008-11-14T03:29:00.000-08:00

I see nothing,
I hear nothing,
I feel nothing,
my senses stopped working,
all i know I am alive,
a mere wriggled, clumped body,
with a burning desire to live,
and I somtimes try to
search the human in me,
Alas!it only remains a search,
Gluttony,
Sacrilage,
Hatred,
Jealousy,
Blasphamy,
I indulge in all,
I am the modern day man,
present everywhere
and in all............................................

hibernation

2008-11-13T01:41:00.000-08:00

lethargic obsessions,
gripped imagination,
damped minds,
slow progressions,
leading to a short term memory loss,
curtailing connectionsto a free world,
created by a free mind.....
a deep hibernation.............

some ponderings

2008-11-05T02:27:00.000-08:00

1.Its is raining outside,
all I feel is draught here,
random feelings accumulate,
and disappear like vapour,
nothing touches my soul,
no wetness
all is but dry and coarse............................

2. As I move towards the mirror,
I see the reflection of somebody
that resembles me,
or is it me or somebody else's
I just stare along.........................

3.Some friends called,
a wedding is there on sunday eve,
and I feel a twitch,
my hand moves up to my face,
to feel the fines lines,
a pain creeps in,
though eyes are blank..................

4.the day ends,
and night crawls in,
the night is not dark,
but I feel a darkness
in my heart and my mind,
lying in the bed,
wait for day to come.................

an earnest desire/a wait

2008-11-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

Alone I sit on a mass of green,
waiting for you my beloved friend,
the wind carries the newly fallen leaves,
the swallows speak of when your coming will be,
the grasshopper still hops around,
the air still a sweet smell,
lonely I sit on a mass of green
to feel your presence.

My hair has greys now,
fine lines appear on my face,
my voice has grown hoarse,
old age shows its trace.

Spring has lost its charm for me,
I crave for summer no more,
monsoon came and left,
autumn has played his goal
just waiting for you my friend,
to wrap my soul.........

lament of a mosquito

2008-11-03T22:49:00.000-08:00

Bruised
battered
I lie
as blood ooze out of my body
no, not mine,
yes, of the one I sucked,
as I lie on the palm of my murderer,
my legs hurt,
two of them have fallen apart,
heart beats slowing down,
time has come to depart,
and I leave this world being hated
right from my birth,
for I am a parasite,
I lived on other's blood,
spreading diseases,
creating havoc,
but I never wanted to be like this,
all I felt was to run,
across fields,
over rivers,
feeling the breeze,
humming a tune......
alas! its only a dream..

so i question God today
'why have you created me in this way?'
why am I hated by all?'
why do I die such a death today?'.........................

ode to the modern day women

2008-10-23T23:52:00.001-07:00

early morning,
recession in mind,
lethargic body,
bulging tummy,
morning walks,
low fat breakfast,
husband's lunch and
son's tiffin,
all packed on time,
getting ready for office,
fumbling keys,
running after the bus,
just on time at office,
lots of work,
shouting boss,
a hard day,
skipping lunch,
evening time,
back home,
son's homework,
kitchen work,
hungry husband,
yawning face,
at last dinner,
no time for love,
morosed husband,
a scene of depression,
at last sleep,

morning arrives too soon,
a new day,
an old life,
and that's called life.

illusion

2008-10-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

you ask me questions,
I give you answers,
you ask me more questions,
I give you more answers,
just dont ask me,
what's true or what's false
all I know
to make a round,
I go round and round,
only to fall around,
for I am inbetween illusion,
and illusionary realism................................

life

2008-10-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

Under the spell of a drink,
he did plant a kiss,
and sucked the honey,
from the venomous rose,
his lips did swell
out of pain,
as blood oozed out slowly
from the veins,
as he glanced at those colourful eyes,
the glance did change to a fright,
for he saw the devil in her eyes,
with a smile she did turn,
mesmerising all at a chance,
she mixed charm with grace,
so none survived from the gaze,
he knew he belonged to the same race,
he merely laughed at his own folly,
as he awaited his death...
and she slowly walked away to another mate...

I am powerless

2008-10-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

he asked for a rose,
all I gave him were thorns(in abundance)
he asked for freedom
and I put him into the bars of life,
he asked for dreams
I showed him paths of reality,
he asked for a mouthful of blue sky,
all I had was dark grey clouds to give,
he called for the music of springs,
I had those of cold winters,
he asked for a moment glory,
I gave him impending doom,
at last he asked for a plateful of food
to keep him alive,
to face all that I had given him,
but
I had given a burning hunger forever,

he didn't ask for anything else anymore,
he just said' don't call yourself God from now on'........

2008-09-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

today I am very happy,
I am going to be married in the evening,
the whole house is full of relatives and friends,
there! I hear rolls of laughter,
must be somebody cracked a joke somewhere,
the haldi would start soon,
I have mehendi on my hands,
the colour has become quite dark,
all say my husband is going to love me lots,
my eyes are full of dreams,
some known ,some unknown,
we talked till late last night,
the dawn passed in a dreamy way,
ah! my mother is here,
with a plate full of sweets,
she has been quite busy today,
after all it's a her only daughter's marraige day,
she placed a kiss on my forehead,
a tear sparkled at the corner of her left eye,
I see it too, but am too busy to chat with my friends,
dad is in a hurry,
looking after all the last moment things,
he is the 'father' of the bride,
my heart just sank, to see dad's face,
my dad! my good old dad,
I am taking away his most precious possession,
you know what?
thats me,
with dreams in my eyes and hopes in my heart,
I will go, shedding the last tears for the day,
remembering my old days,
my rides on my dad's back,
mom running after me with a plate of food,
while I was getting late for school.....
I am going to build some new memories,
but my parents,
all they are left with old ones to relish....
.
.
.
may be one day I will have a daughter too...
may be then,
I will understand,
what they feel today.

momentary realization

2008-09-30T04:40:00.000-07:00

last night as I walked
on the footpath of my dreams,
I saw a child crying of hunger,
a mother's eye full of despair,
an old woman lie dying,
a boy gazing at the sky,
in hope,
a girl's longing
for a bright new frock,
which she knew
her poor father couldn't afford,
and my eyes opened
at the sound of the alarm clock.

with i jolt I sat down on my bed,
and thought,
about the half drank milk
I leave everyday,
the money I squander
on my over filled wardrobe,
the parties i attend every week,
the food they throw on the street,
are they worth it?

what's the value of my life,
if I cant do something worthwhile...
with such a thought I sat down thinking...
I craved for the child's full stomach,
her mother's smile,
the old woman's recovery,
the boy's hope to be fulfilled,
the girl's happy face......

but I know
I would forget,
and join the party,
that's supposed to be on the next day
the realization is momentary
for deep inside I know
I am dead to the core............

A moment of hope

2008-09-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

and it goes like this,
the songs of autumn fade
giving rise to winter winds,
not like the cool breezy
monsoon winds,
but cold chilly ones,
the birds migrated long ago,
to warmer lands,
guess they are afraid
to face the truth,
the tress are bare,
for they are saving
the last drops of water,
only I am left
with a white face,
shrinking body,
but an awakened mind,
migrating nowhere,
not hibernating,
not even saving,
for I have nothing,
just,
waiting for you,
counting every moment,
bearing the chill,
not for death,
I am too optimistic,
for that,
but for you
my dear spring.

a mere pawn

2008-09-19T03:30:00.000-07:00

the woman walks with a child in her arms,
from door to door begging for alms,
or on some other day,
on a busy road,
at the traffic signals,
the baby sleeps soundly clinging to the mother's arms,
then again sometimes she sits on the footpath,
the sleeping child lying carelessly ,
with a milk bottle toppled down,
flies all around,
the woman shabbily dressed,
with flesh showing from here and there,
passers by oogling through,
the woman begs in the name of the child,
fast asleep the child knows none,
drugged he is,
drugged everyday by pills,
so that he doesnt cry,
nor ask for food,
who is this mother?
is she the mother who lulls?
the mother who sings sweet notes,
to the child's ears,
and who is this child?
does she belong to her,
or the child is a mere pawn for drawing sympathy,
bought for a few pieces of paper,
everyday,
from another mother,
will the child ever have childhood like you and I?
a simple question arises,
or is it simple at all?..........

where does innocence lie?

2008-09-18T03:14:00.003-07:00

licking a lollipop the child moved,
unaware of everything,
unaware of the poisoning around,
of the bruises and the cuts she had everyday,
little did she knew,
she had been a prey to sadistic men,
who used a bait, a bait of toffees everyday,
men whom she called uncles,
she saw her mother crying,
her dad's grave face,
as she limped around licking her lollipop,
she wondered, what was the cry for,
awe-eyed she looked around,
as known faces slowly became strangers,
for her friends were no more friends,
now that she played alone,
but she knew she had her toffees,
and she limped around.....

mother to you...........

2008-09-18T03:14:00.002-07:00

As i walk through the sand,
gravels prick my feet,
and it hurts but the pain is less
than the one that you have given me.

I know the blue bells still smiles,
and the roses still feel the same,
the tulips still dance,
and i still miss thee.

The warmth of your hand,
the kind smile, the touch you made,
the care you have taken, will no longer be.

Mother!why did you have to go?
i miss thee the pain is unbearable,
the fond memories are the solace,
for they are still there,
only you are no more........

it's difficult to hold back

2008-09-18T03:14:00.001-07:00

is it so easy to go back,
to the place,
we have started from ,
is it so easy to forgive and forget,
and start everything afresh,
what you would have done, if you are in my place,
i have no words for you,
my heart doesn't give me a call,
i am clueless of the surroundings,
i don't know it was whose fault,
all i know i can't go back,
for the end is near,
i have lead my lifetime,
i have nothing more to give you my life,
i am a property of death now,
anytime he would be here,
anytime now...........

ecstacy

2008-09-18T03:14:00.000-07:00

i run across the field,
you after me trying to catch up with my run,
i don't come at hand easily,
the wind is my friend,
it rustles through the leaves,
and creates a tune to muse,
the stream flows in a rhythm too,
the clouds float across the moon,
they accompany our game of hide and seek,
and then you catch me,
under the moonlight your face glows,
a glow of longing,
a sparkle in your eyes,
as if i am born on those eyes,
you murmur my name,
as i move closer,
our lips meet,
creating a heaven of our own,
as the night of ecstasy moves on.......

The Lily

2008-09-17T02:46:00.000-07:00

a poem that inspired many a writes of mine is"the lily"written by my dear friend abhishek...this poem is a personal favourite of mine.So enjoy the read.

A soul sits white as death,
In the midst of a tear,
With solitude it did bathe,
Like a man, who lost his dear.

Perhaps its soul and heart wept,
Or they sang the songs of love,
Perhaps its eyes never slept,
Under the moon shining up above.

Beneath the cool singing breeze,
It lies still as a dead leaf,
Yet my heart gets joy and peace,
So o lily, please do forgive.

But o lily teach how can I learn,
For my mind drinks what I see,
As your loneliness always gets burned,
In your own grave of beauty.

only you ,and for all

2008-09-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

sparkling,
tinkling,
move I,
from one hand to another,
drooling eyes,
loving gestures,
all follow me,
as I sweep around,
they love me,
I know,
but i care none,
I have lovers all around,
call me proud,
I don't mind,
for I know,
I am one,
benevolent,
there's a question mark,
malevolent,
thats you to decide,
lovers find solace in me,
drifted become stagnant,
but not homebound,
wives envy me,
curse me,
I only laugh,
its not my fault
you know,
I don't choose them,
they do,
love me,
hate me,
curse me,
but I will
always be there,
for you,
only you,
and for all...........

various images can crop up while reading this poem,but it is only about a glass of scotch...

destiny

2008-09-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

by the shore
stood I alone,
facing the sea,
the languid air
gave me company,
langouring my effort
to move back,
the waves rushed on to
my feet,
taking away the sand
beneath,
I was loosing earth,
as if foretelling
I didn't belong to it anymore,
the dark clouds hovering around,
and it was destined to rain,
i heard a call,
slowly i moved towards the sea,
mesmerised
by its beauty,
mesmerised
as it slowly gulped
bits of me,
I felt
merging myself to the sea,
living back memories,
I belonged to the sea.

and on earth
it started raining...............

2008-09-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

the lights flickered in the water,
as the reflection of the bridge moved
by the ripples,
a full moon,
the cool breeze,
the ghat,
the intoxicated me
by its beauty,
lovers:hand in hand stroll,
the call of the hawkers,
the smell of "pawbhaji",
the taste of "puchkas",
the boats ,
the lanterns,
the buoy,
mesmerised,
as i took a boat ride,
along with my friends,
Abhi, Shouvick, and I,
Abhi:my best friend,
Shouvick:a friend lost,
and all of us contemplating life,
our deeds,
our misdeeds,
our past,
our desperations,
our desires,
our hopes,
to find life
amidst lives,
the hoax in us
all shredded,
only for the time being,
you was you,
I was I,
.........................

the evening ended,
we towards our home,
back to the disguised
you and I,

back to our world of disguise.

ode to a molar

2008-09-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

a tooth:a molar,
once shining as a pearl,
milky white,
flashed like a lightning
in a dark night,
uprooting a milk tooth
it was born,
surveying over the dentine region,
like a monarch,
sharp,
vibrant,
full of youth,
crushing ,
chewing,
enjoying,
partying,

then one day,
a germ attacked,
it took no notice,
proud,
undermined the other's worth,
the germ gradually proceeded,
the decay started,
slowly poisoning the root,
it was being eaten,
and a severe pain,
which no painkiller could soothe,

now it's a carious tooth,
suffering with swollen gums,
in its death bed,
waiting to be uprooted,
to lie in the dentist's tray.
.
.
.
an early demise,
.
.
.
for they say:
.
.
.
pride comes before fall.

the wall

2008-07-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

i am a wall,
standing erect for age long now,
cant even remember the days
that gone and how,
giving support to the other three
which cease to exist today,
i stand alone all by myself,
i am old,
now weak and broken,
rugged and my skeleton shows,
one day i was young,
full of glories and glows,
now there are new walls,
fame come to them,
i am left in a corner
without any repair,
all i want to say,
the new walls would be old once
with rugged skeleton,
they would be just like me,
facing the same neglect ,
i face now,
so hault!
dont be proud of your new colours,
for colours fade soon,
despise me not now,
who knows
what will happen to you and how.

this one was written a year ago..very close to my heart.....

A LAZY WINTER MORNING

2008-04-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

a lazy winter morning

a quilt lying aside

sleepy eyes trying to look

what the day has in store

old album on the bed

memories fading in and out

age has taken over

things difficult to remember

a bird chirping somewhere

a story to tell

may be of some sagas untold

or some unknown song of some distant place

a stick by the bed

a feeble hand hold it tight

careful steps followed

fond thoughts creep in

a lazy winter morning

a wooden chair rocking

eyes expecting something

may be news from the "HAPPY ISLE"

FORGIVE ME LORD

2007-12-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

God met me one day
I asked him in vain
where were you God
when i was in so much in pain
"Iwas near you,my dear child
guarding you all the way
to help you bear the pain"
all that He could say
i laughed aloud
knowing not his ways
you talk funny God
and yet people do pray
listening God smiled
and uttered not a word
answer me Lord,said i
knowing not His ways
He smiled again and said
"my dear child,your soul is still untamed
patience would make you strong
and pain endurance
happiness came and left your gate
it came unspoken and unnamed
you were too busy to look into the pain
and didnt know what have yoy gain"
speechless stood i,finding no words
God smiled again and left
the bliss of life,i fail to understand
forgive me Lord for i knew not your ways.

recollections of a troubled mind

2007-07-23T04:19:00.000-07:00

my mind tossing over the oceans
trying to find answers
of questions that turmoil the sea
how my mind tosses

my childhood dreams crushed
agony pushed to the limits
still i fight,not giving up to pain
still how my mind tosses

there i stand on the deck,looking over to the sea
the stormy wind blows,the waves rushes in
i fear to fall ,but manages to stand
how my mind tosses looking over to the ocean

the turmoil surpasses all beings
heaven and earth merge into an eternal being
failure is constant all the same
how do i fear to loose the game
thus my mind tosses again and again

my troubled mind producrs poetry
to give relief to recollections
so i name it a bonding of thoughts
which i fail to release

there my mind stops
i see the twilightof hopes far afar the oceans
happy chores would come again
for nothing is constant,so the tossing stops

the sea is calm, the breeze mild
sadness gives place to happiness
urges of wild thoughts come to my mind

the turmoil in the ocean stops
the albatross on the deck
the drug of the lotus eaters
transcends into a dream thats not fake